No we haven’t got a new oven yet..

This evening at home whilst BN was making the girls some fancy pudding… Bananas and Creme Fraiche I think he said….

R: I loved my tea - You’re such a good cooker, Daddy!

BN: Ah.. thanks Rowan!

She watched him making the pudding ….

R: You’re such a good puddener too, daddy!

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I am home from my two day training course and just about ready to go off to bed.

It’s been a fairly intensive two days - the aim of which was to learn a new USP for our company and be trained in order to train. The course was run for managers with the view that we will go and filter this new idea down the ranks.

There’s a great word to sum it up.

Yawn.

The travelling was not too bad in the end really.

I may have grumbled about the questionable hygiene habits of others and it ticked me off royally this morning that Costa Coffee at Newark North Gate think that ONE person serving coffee at 7am is a good idea! ONE SLOW person… serving the world their coffee…  but really the journeys were fine and National Express did an OK job.

I may think it’s odd that the trolley-servey man would only serve drinks one way down the train but wheeled it from one end to the other and then back again before I could have a coffee…. but whatever… I’m sure there is method in their madness.. somewhere…

The main thing that train journeys give me a chance to do is think.

Most days I do most of my thinking in the shower in the morning. I have lost count of the amount of work conversations that have started with “I was thinking about this in the shower this morning…”

My staff have stopped thinking it’s weird.. they are used to me and my weirdness.

But, the last two days I have been doing my thinking on the train.

In the last 48 hours I have seen my children for less than one hour. I’ve missed them in the morning. Either out before they were awake or leaving before they ventured out of their room.

I saw them for 30 minutes each night before they went to bed.

Rowan asked me both days if I had to go to work the next day.

Guilt.

Guilt and motherhood seem to go hand in hand.

Inexorably intertwined.

Everything we strive to do for their benefit leads us further and further away from their presence.. their warm cuddles and baby loving. They both go to their daddy when they fall.

I have too much time to think about what I’m missing sometimes. I hate it when I have to ask BN what they like to eat, or how to serve their dinner, what size portions they like to eat. Weekends are like school for me. The amount I have to cram in and the knowledge I take on board.

What new words they know. Things they have done and seen.

A killer lately was when I decided we had to ‘cleanse’ the toy box. It would no longer close and our dining room was starting to become more of a toy room.

I had to ask what toys my children played with before I knew what I could comfortably get rid of without causing problems.

I had to ask what toys my children played with.

And I was close to tears about that. I feel I am failing them.

I am tired & feeling guilty about not seeing enough of my children.

Tiredness & Guilt.

Inexorably intertwined with motherhood.

(No Ratings Yet)

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1. That I had to go to Leeds for a training course today

2. That I had to go to Leeds at all

3. That a man sneezed 7 times on the next table to me on the way home until a massive splob of mucous splurted out of his mouth down his hand

4. That he then wiped it on the seat and table

5. That at the next stop a man and his daughter claimed their reserved seats and he had to move - she then sat where he’d wiped it

6. That he then moved opposite me YUK!

7. That he then sneezed at me (well in my direction)

8. That I have a humungous headache

Or

9. That I have to go back and do it all again tomorrow.

or

10. That I am knackered and I’m considering going to bed at 8.30pm.

(No Ratings Yet)

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I’ve taken to my bits… and when I say that… I don’t mean I’ve got a crush on them…

I mean… I have assaulted them… with a razor…

It was all fine when I did it… ooh say 24 hours ago.

ONE day ago.

And… OH MY GOD!

The itch!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will it ever go away?!?!?!?!?!!?!

I’ve just been out for a walk in this glorious weather and to be honest… I may as well have had sandpaper down my pants.

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Pre bed poo.

When isn’t it?

Rowan: When I was a baby you had to change my bum didn’t you mummy?

Me: Yes I did

But now I’ a big girl I can do a poo on the toilet can’t I mummy? And my wee? And t’gether!

Yes, that’s right. You can.

When I was a baby I couldn’t talk could I, mummy?

No that’s right.

But I can now can’t I?

Oh Yes. You certainly can. [Yawn]

I certainly can can’t I, mummy?

Yes you can, darling.

Ella couldn’t talk when she was a baby could she, mummy?

No she couldn’t.

[stretch, yawn]

She can talk now can’t she mummy?

Y’uh huh. She’s starting to talk isn’t she?

Yes, mummy.

She can say lots of words now can’t she? Sometimes she can talk sensible.

Sensible?

Yes lots of words.

Sentences…? [Talking sensibly isn't beyond the realms for Ella but I think she meant sentences]

Yes sentencing.

Well yes she can. Sometimes.

She can say lots of words. [thinking...] Poo and wee and cream and toilet and rubbish and bin and your cleaning stuff and Medised and Neurofen

Medised and Neurofen?

Yes we hate Medised, it’s yukky but you make us have it, don’t you mummy.

hmmm.

[Yaaaaaawn]

Don’t scratch your face Rowan it’s getting a dry patch.

But it’s inchy.

Itchy. Itch-y [my mouth over-nunciating for her so she can see]

Mummy. Can I have some cream for my itsy face?

Y’uh huh..[getting cream] … ITCH-ee. Itchy.

Rowan: hmmmm…. well whatever but can I have some cream, mummy?

Seriously.

My child just said WHATEVER to me! WHAAAAA!

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Well… not much happened today really.. it was a very busy day at work today. A client decided to call the branch at 4.30pm and order 25 staff for this evening and tomorrow morning.

So… me and another had to stay until 6.40pm just trying to sort that out!

Rowan had a doctor’s visit today and has been given ventolin and a volumatic to go with.

Watching her trying to get the hang of breathing in rapidly, through a tube… was really very funny.

She can’t get it at all

I’m sure she will but if anyone has any tips on how to help them get the hang of that - we would really appreciate it!

Unfortunately - she got a taste of the ventolin at one point and was V V unimpressed - and a little reluctant to try again… so - ho hum…

Good luck with that one!!

I have to say - other than that? Pretty boring couple of days!!

(2 votes, average: 4 out of 5)

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Vic tagged me!

Thanks Vic - I do love a good meme mwah!!!

Remove 1 question from below and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post

1. What do you really really want right now?

A wee.

2. If you can turn into anything, what do you wish you can turn into?

A thin person.

3. How are you feeling now?

I need a wee. The need for a wee is consuming me. In fact - I may have to go for a wee and then come back and do this.

4. Where is the place that you want to go most?

The toilet. Right I’m off.

5. If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?

This is a bit wet but I’ll take this as in dream = plan/desire not dream as in slumber.. I wish health and happiness for my children for always.

6. Do you want more children?

one more please.

7. Do you think religion is redundant?

I think religion is overrated and dangerous. I also think that faith and belief are beautiful and worthwhile.

8. What cheers you up for the rest of the day?

A good giggle.

9. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?

That I love them? Err. Yes! Why wouldn’t you?

10. List out three good things of the person who tagged you.

She’s caring

She’s pretty

She’s also got a great manicure

11. What are the requirements that you wish of your other half?

Honesty & openness.

12. What type of person do you hate the most?

A liar.

13. What would you do if you won a million dollars?

All I can think f is Vic’s answer! Change it into £££s!! But assuming I do that - then I would have a holiday and buy a big house with a garden for my kids.

14. What would you wanna be remembered for after you’re dead?

Oh god. I don’t know. A good mum and wife.

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?

My defensiveness and my anger.

16. What do you think if you look out of your window right now?

Crappy crappy street I live on.

17. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

My girls & my guy. Without question.

18. If there’s one thing in your life you wanted to do but yet unable to, what would it be?

Travel.

19. What do you see yourself as in the next 10 years?

19. If you could be invisible for one whole day, where would you go?

The office!!

20. If you were an animal, what would you be?

A rabbit I think. Nervous, shy but a quick bite if you cross me

I would tag but loads of the people cross over and then the other people I know don’t like to do memes! The pressure! I tag you if you wanna

Just link back to me to let me know you’ve done it!

(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Rowan on the loo this evening - pre-bed poop!

Are you starting to see a pattern?

Rowan: Today I saw something so rude! [say this in the tone of an old woman over the back fence in Coronation st]

Me: Did you? What was that then?

Rowan: Well. [why is it all kid's stories start with 'well'?] We were walking through the park today after nursery and we were walking home and well I saw a man.. [look around and covers her mouth with her hand] with his top off!!

Me: [laughing] Do you think that’s rude then?

Rowan: Well I’ve never seen it before!

My daughter: the prude.

====================

BN and Rowan home this afternoon

Rowan: Daddy, I gre in mummy’s tummy didn’t I?

BN: Yes.

Rowan: Ella grew in mummy’s tummy as well didn’t she?

BN: Yes
Rowan: If we have another baby and it’s a boy, it’ll come out of your tummy won’t it, daddy?

BN: No. Boy babies cme out of mummy’s tummy as well.

Rowan = Gobsmacked.

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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photo(3), originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

My two girls looking like movie stars… well maybe… more like my little girls looking like kids wearing big glasses…

but still

cute nonetheless

(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

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Monkey kip, originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

This is Rowan fast asleep this evening.

Pixieminx made me think before… so off I went to have a look.

And yes.. she does look cute and it makes you forget anything they did all day

Crafty little buggers

(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

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